DAY 13 - June 12th

As yesterday was a bit free form, today was very calculated.

• #1 Get minutes on my phone (this was a bitch to do and wasted about an hour)

• #3 Get something other then pizza to eat (not so successful, spinach and bread thing)

• #4 Get to MAS (which stands for really big cheap department store)

• #5 Do something my parent would like: Fassi the oldest gelato shop in Roma

• #6 Do something my dick would like: Europa Multiclub Romas largest Gay Sauna

• #7 Have a real Italian dinner!

MAS

MAS was described to me as a huge thrift store. In that regard it is. In other regards, imagine if Target + Ross + Sears had a bastard italian child that only got table scraps... that is MAS. A fat baby indeed with 4 floors complete with weird crap catacomb basement and the only floor non disabled accessible friendly being the mens suits floor (cripples always ruin a good look anyway right?). I love the cut of European jeans. I was over in the womens section checking out some pants and one of the attendants said something in Italian which meant "these are for girls." I said in what she I'm sure head as gibberish that I knew. The cut of womens jeans here are almost identical to mens jeans, they are all trannies! I then went to a different floor and was looking at some shorts and a attendant and total queen asked me if I needed help and to point out the shorts I was looking at were only for large patrons. Okay, strike two but seriously I don't need a translator to help to see when shorts are like a 40 waist OKAY! Finally, and this is when I new I just needed to stick to the speedo bin where NO ONE wanted to talk to me while I plunged into those piles, an older attendant came up to me to tell me the Levi's western button up shirt I was looking at was for women ("madonna"). Yeah, okay dude, I know you are pissed that there is a fag in the slutty dyke section of MAS but back off okay!

FASSI
Didn't blow my mind. All I was thinking when I was eating a $6 ice cream cone (which was freaking delicious) was WHY am I eating dairy before I go get naked in front of hot Italian horndogs? I bounced for the sauna.

EUROPE MULTICLUB
So when I emailed Giacomo of Discodromo what should I do when "in Rome" he naturally he responded with two cruising spots. The first suggestion was a bar that I asked WARBEAR about (who will now be called phrannypack cause his name is Francesco, her club is PHagoff, and I have been wearing a fanny-pack the whole trip). He told me that it was just like the eagle in a way and that it has recently been shut down (he didn't give me any other details - sketchy!). The n I asked him about local bathhouses or saunas. He told me that there is a whole history to the nightclubs and bathhouses in Rome that is quite interesting. Just like San Francisco sex clubs, there is a membership and privatization of clientèle of the club in order to bypass government laws against indecency and public sex. Phrannypack has some interesting ideas around how the privatization of sexual practice in places like sex clubs effects the whole culture of sexuality and freedom. I definitely understand where he is coming from and it did cost and arm and a leg to get inside the club which in turn creates a very specific customer base and brings up issues of class. Regardless, as I described earlier, Rome has approached gay life in a similar way to American government. Indecency laws, police homophobia, and fascist rule, sounds like someone needs to get their dick sucked.

Phranny also told me that the sauna that Giacomo recommended was more of the muscle queen work out and that I should check out another one across town that was more on the bear tip. This sauna he speaks of is the Sunday play-party space for when local bear-promotions-circuit subWOOFer does its techno-hairy-weekends here in Roma. I decided that the prospects of being in what is lauded as the biggest sauna in Roma was better then wet-bear action and I decided to head to Europe Multiclub instead.

A bit of a walk from familiar grounds, Europe Multiclub is actually located in a very very nice part of central Roma. The surroundings of Multiclub blows blowbuddies and steamworks out of the water. Whether you are coming from work or finishing up at the Harley Davidson bike shop next door, the walk of shame for this bathhouse is straight BEVERLY HILLS! Upon entrance I was greeted by the god awful new Madonna record which is everywhere in this goddamn city right now and the queen behind the desk who looked responsible for it being on the stereo. In order to get into the sauna, I had to bring my passport, sign up for a year, and pay entrance fee but whats hellamericandollars? There were small security boxes (guarded by the Madonna queen?) in the lobby for valuables and then lockers downstairs for clothes and things. I put on my towel and my provided black rubber slippers and headed downstairs. The first room to be greeted by is a TV room with a full cafe with sandwiches and beers and even a videogame station. Next room consists of a weird disco light hallway and then a cruising lounge area and full gym room (can we get to the sex please!). Finally the entrance to the sauna which consists of two shower stalls beautifully constructed with full marble fences 3 showers to a stall. I wash off and head into the main sauna area which has 3 pools one which is a large regular temperature pool complete with a private waterfall closet area (for bare-backing and such) and an arched covered canal from one side of the pool to the other. I started with a hot tub first small enough to only fit me and my nervous ego. Roman men ride this weird line between hot and fugly for me. Everyone looks butch as fuck but they also look like extras from a roman episode of Star Trek. There is not really a consistent look except for thick noses, the olive skin and uncut dicks. Those that stood out: my pasty ass self, the star of 300 the movie black dude with a baby-arm penis and thick Mr. T Mowhawk, the old guys (not as many and you would expect), and of course the guy that keeps pushing into your personal space. Outside of the pools there are about 3 steam rooms, private fuck rooms, a nice bathroom area, and another shower area.

After about a 1/2 hour of cruising I noticed a nice 30 something cub that came from out of the shower area. I followed one into the cooler pool area where most of the action goes down. A large circular area with sunken benches all around, this area would soon become a scene. After a couple of glances the cutie I was checking out muttered something to me in Italian, I responded with my American gibberish, to my surprise he responded in English! He wanted to know the time (LAME!) but we ended up chatting and touching and chatting and touching more and then moving into the beautiful waterfall closet area I mentioned earlier. After some deep tissue massage, and some other things I cannot say on here because Leo Herrera and Ambrosia Salad are already gagging trans-continentally we made movements to the steam room scene, the myst room scene (this room came with a +1) and then finally back to our meeting place. Here is where we were greeted by the 18 going on 16 year old couple going at it with two dicks that could feed entire 3rd world countries. I kept looking around for Chi Chi La Rue with a camera but then I remembered its hard for her to fit on planes these days. As me and the new boy and the +1 got the okay to jump in the light flickered in the sauna and your typical gizz moper came outta nowhere and ordered everyone to leave. Oh well, they probably had crabs.

To my surprise the boy (whose name I cannot remember for the life of me) was waiting for me outside the club. We walked and chatted a bit and I was a bit apprehensive of taking the steam out of the relationship so to speak. To my suprise we got on quite well and he said we were going in the same direction so we walked that way until he offered to take me out for the #7 on my list. A scenic route through the Colosseum neighborhood, past the gayborhood, and around the corner to a cute mostly sidewalk-table-dining italian food restaurant. Like a gentlemen he ordered some classic dishes and offered english conversation. Of course I find the one Jew lover in Italy, we talked about his fascination with Judaism for a bit and then about traveling and then stuffed our faces with delicacies I am sure I cannot pronounce properly.

question of the day:
I'm not sure which I like better, people who can understand what I am saying and think I talk too much or people who cannot understand a word I am saying and think I talk to much?

tommorow:
Go to one of Roma's oldest punk-collective squats and set up for a multi-thousand person rave called Electrode... here is the poster I finished last night... Whole entry on Phagoff and the costume tommorow...

(c) Homochic 2008